Divorce’s Biggest Holiday: 5 Survival Tips If You’re Going Through Divorce During Valentine’s Day
Eeek. Valentine’s Day. The seemingly romantic holiday that puts men and women all across our nation in a frantic tizzy to purchase various brands of overpriced chocolates, extremely large stuffed animals, and insincere greeting cards. But, what do you do if you’re in the throes of divorce during Valentine’s Day this year? What do you do if you don’t have anyone to share a box of chocolates with? Who will enjoy the waxy, runny, cherry and artificial color filled chocolate with you (people don’t actually like that flavor in the box of chocolates, right?)?! Well, don’t fret. Everything you have been told about Valentine’s Day is garbage. GARBAGE, I tell you.
AttorneyFee.com, a legal referral site, conducted a study of divorce filings in New York, Illinois, and California. The site found that February is the busiest month of the year for divorce filings – up about 18% from the average month. In addition, those seeking referrals for a divorce lawyer increase 38% following Valentine’s Day, with the biggest spike on the day following the holiday. Another legal site, Avvo.com, reports a 40% increase in those seeking information and advice about divorce in the period right after Valentine’s Day. So, while society may want you to think Valentine’s Day is all about love, happiness, and chocolate, it’s really about divorce and lawyers – yay.
But, regardless if this holiday is about love or not, Valentine’s Day can be a tough holiday if you are going through a divorce or separation but still desire affection, companionship, and attention on that “special” day. Here are 5 tips to help you make it through the day without too many tears:
- Treat yo’self.
During your declining marriage, chances are you didn’t spend a lot of time concentrating on you. You may have been worrying about your relationship, focusing on finances, or chasing the kids around the house. Whelp. It’s time to use Valentine’s Day to treat yo’self. Splurge on an item you’ve been eyeing, take a trip to the spa, or enjoy a fancy dinner. A little pampering can be a great way to help you start focusing on YOU.
- “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t kill their husbands. They just don’t.” – Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
So, in addition to not killing your husband, exercise is a great way to make you feel better about yourself and your overall situation. Because exercise does release endorphins (which are a group of hormones that are released into the brain and make you feel goooood) exercise is great natural medicine for anxiety, depression, sadness, and grief. The more you move, the better you’ll feel!
- Don’t be alone.
Isolation can sometimes be comforting, but save that for the other 364 days of the year, and spend some time with those whom you love! Go out with some friends, have dinner with your kids, or just host a small soirée with a few confidants (say that in a French accent). Remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romantic love – it’s about love in general! And, no matter where you are in the divorce process, you definitely have people in your life who love you.
- Sign off of all social media.
There’s nothing worse than, while going through a break-up, you scroll through hundreds of posts gloating about overpriced chocolates, extremely large stuffed animals, and insincere greeting cards. I mean… you could’ve had at least one of those things if you would’ve just stayed in your broken marriage, right? Heck. Then you’d be able to post about it, too. But, you’re smarter than that. You’re smarter than staying in a poison relationship just so you can have that mushy, deceitful Valentine’s Day status.
But, no matter if you’re smart or not, scrolling through those statuses can make you envy what others purportedly have. Might as well just sign off until the day after Valentine’s Day… when, if social media was actually real life, all the divorce posts SHOULD start flying. Cue the eye roll.
- Emotionally detach and re-group.
Repeat after me. Divorce is about numbers. Divorce is about property. Divorce is about your assets. Divorce rarely, if ever, cares about your feelings. One way to turn off your emotional thinking is to find emotional support outside of your case – think: friends or family. As difficult as it may be, keeping emotions in check will benefit your case in the long run. The emotional aspects of the divorce process begin long before the papers are signed, so make sure to recruit emotional help as soon as possible.
As always, feel free to contact our firm for all your post-Valentine’s Day needs. We’ll be waiting at the phones at 12:00 a.m. February 15 for your call.
… Okay… we don’t really open until 9:00 a.m.